Fulton 5 - Stayin' Alive
Had an interesting bus ride this morning (not too many ballerinas, thank god!)
First of all, I saw the worst drag queen ever. (S)he was dressed all businessy and, maybe this is wrong of me, but I feel you need a certain frivolity in your outfit to be good at being a drag queen. I know, I know, there are plenty of business men who love to throw on an Elli Tahari, but they suck. All those Tina Turner impersonators (Tia - looking in your direction!) that's where drag is at. So anyway, (s)he was wearing a businessy outfit which just made me sad. Second, (s)he was wearing white tights. And, ok, I know (s)he's newish to the femme dressing...but here's a tip which anyone who wears leg-ware must know: white tights were made by the devil to make all legs look fat. Yep, even yours. Finally, (s)he had bright orange clown hair. There is no way that color is natural, which means (s)he actually picked it out. What makes it even worse is (s)he had hard core male pattern baldness, so (s)he had hair slightly past shoulder length and then a big old bald spot. Which the orange accentuated even more. Whoa, was that a good time at 8am on a monday morning.
Next, the ballerinas all got off at the wrong step...in the middle of the projects. For half a second I thought I might say something to them....but my evil half took over and I just watched the panic on their faces as the bus drove off. (Before you think I'm totally evil - they got off two stops before they should have, which is a grand total of 4 blocks and it was 8:10am in the projects, not 3:10am AND it was the Fillmo' projects, not like HP or anything. So I probably should have said something, but those bitches need to learn the line if they're going to ride it.)
Finally, as the mass exodus occurred at 8th and Market, I swear I saw the prefect of Wanganui get off (do you watch Reno 911? 'Cause it's a Reno 911 reference.) That was just fucking hilarious. Luckily, he didn't smell and I think he may have actually been wearing more layers and boas, but damn. If that wasn't the prefect of Wanganui, I don't know who the hell is!
The prefect is the black guy...sorry - that's the best pic I could find
First of all, I saw the worst drag queen ever. (S)he was dressed all businessy and, maybe this is wrong of me, but I feel you need a certain frivolity in your outfit to be good at being a drag queen. I know, I know, there are plenty of business men who love to throw on an Elli Tahari, but they suck. All those Tina Turner impersonators (Tia - looking in your direction!) that's where drag is at. So anyway, (s)he was wearing a businessy outfit which just made me sad. Second, (s)he was wearing white tights. And, ok, I know (s)he's newish to the femme dressing...but here's a tip which anyone who wears leg-ware must know: white tights were made by the devil to make all legs look fat. Yep, even yours. Finally, (s)he had bright orange clown hair. There is no way that color is natural, which means (s)he actually picked it out. What makes it even worse is (s)he had hard core male pattern baldness, so (s)he had hair slightly past shoulder length and then a big old bald spot. Which the orange accentuated even more. Whoa, was that a good time at 8am on a monday morning.
Next, the ballerinas all got off at the wrong step...in the middle of the projects. For half a second I thought I might say something to them....but my evil half took over and I just watched the panic on their faces as the bus drove off. (Before you think I'm totally evil - they got off two stops before they should have, which is a grand total of 4 blocks and it was 8:10am in the projects, not 3:10am AND it was the Fillmo' projects, not like HP or anything. So I probably should have said something, but those bitches need to learn the line if they're going to ride it.)
Finally, as the mass exodus occurred at 8th and Market, I swear I saw the prefect of Wanganui get off (do you watch Reno 911? 'Cause it's a Reno 911 reference.) That was just fucking hilarious. Luckily, he didn't smell and I think he may have actually been wearing more layers and boas, but damn. If that wasn't the prefect of Wanganui, I don't know who the hell is!
The prefect is the black guy...sorry - that's the best pic I could find
posted by La Doña at 12:57 PM
1 Comments:
Just wanted to say hi because I haven't talked to you in awhile. Liz just came to visit last week and left yesterday. It was awesome seeing her. Yesterday it was 107 degrees by my house. That sucked. It was so hot it was painful to even stand in the shade. For some reason that made us decide to walk 1.5 miles to go buy bagels. About half of the way there we realized the magnitude of our mistake, but by then we were committed to 3/4 mile in either direction to reach AC so we kept on going. Pain. Tomorrow I'm going to Wisconsin to work and then I am working in the city tomorrow night. Give me a call when ever you have a chance and good luck at your job review if I don't get to talk to you first. Love you!
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