It's Friday and You Aint Got Shit To Do
So, last night was a little crazy.
I met up with Dan at his place, where Elyse, The Famous Ben King and Crackhead Chris has already gathered. I don’t think I mentioned it, what with the stomach flu and all, but there was a little incident last weekend with Crackhead Chris threatening my life. Dan’s pretty sure he was kidding, but I’m a little wary nonetheless.
In any case, I met up with the group after they had already started drinking. As Dan finished writing up his story for the newspaper, Elyse, Ben and I shared a blunt. Crackhead Chris put on the Stones and he and Ben started doing their best Mick impressions up and down Dan’s room. They actually did a pretty good job. I asked Chris to put on Wild Horses for me and somewhere along the lines of him serenading me with it, he somehow got it into his mind that Wild Horses was my most favorite song of all time.
Dan and I finally organized the troops to move to the bar. Ben demanded we stop at the corner store and get a drink for the long walk to the bar. For reference purposes, it’s like 7 blocks. Short ones. Anyway, when we got to the liquor store, Elyse asked the liquor store dude if the piñatas hanging from the ceiling were for sale. He said no, but she could have one for free. The Famous Ben King borrowed a step ladder and pulled it down for her. The funniest part being we of course left it somewhere during the course of the evening.
So for some reason, I was feeling ignored by Dan, which did not make me very happy. We talked and worked it out (I love that we never actually have arguments or anything. It’s always just issue, discuss, resolve, over it.) Anyway, I was feeling ignored and was therefore acting like a brat. Chris observed some difference between Dan and I and said “well, guess you guys weren’t meant to be after all. Guess you’ll just have to break up.” So I turned to Dan and said “alright, we’re broken up. Bye.” And started to walk away. Usually when I pull that shit, Dan grabs my arm before I’m even able to take a step. This time he let me walk, when I was feeling ignored anyway. So after about 10 feet I turn and say to Dan, “You’re not even coming after me?” And Chris said “Sweetheart, you know if you break up with Dan, you’re breaking up with the whole group of us. And I just don’t think you could tangle with this bunch. So get your ass back over here.” And that was funny. Not so much funny ha ha, but funny like that’s very true and Chris may very well kill me some day.
We headed over to Mission Bar, which was packed and sucked. I’ve been to Mission Bar four times now. Two of them were packed and horrible, two of them were deserted and wonderful. I’m drawn on the Mission Bar, but I tend to dislike it. I have no idea why Dan loves it so much. Anyway, after Fong had met up with us we headed out of Mission Bar to check out Benders. Around this time, Crackhead Chris decided he absolutely, positively needed to do some blow. On the way to Benders, Chris and Elyse decided we should go to the international bar on 19th. I think Chris was just playing the odds game on his blow search. Dan and I talked them out of that place and proceeded to Benders – where their was a cover. We walked on to Theives, ordered beers and Chris promptly puked in the garbage can.
Dan, being the wonderful friend and boyfriend he is, walked off to play Wordster with Alex Fong while I babysat Chris. Chris was just in love with Paul, the bartender, for some reason. He kept yelling at him about the As, luckily they’re both fans. Other Chris stunts of the evening were him serenading me again with Wild Horses and grabbing some stranger’s beer, directly out of the guy’s hand, and trying to drink it. I don’t know why Chris doesn’t get his ass kicked more often. Dude was cool about it and I promptly reprimanded Chris with a “No! NO! NO, BAD CHRIS! You DO NOT steal stranger’s beers! Bad, BAD Chris!” Funnily enough, he just turned and stared at me with lost puppy dog eyes. Exactly like when I reprimand TJ. So Ben and Elyse had disappeared to make out or something and I pulled Dan aside to point out I didn’t know how long Paul was going to put up with Chris’ antics for. Dan argued for half a second, then looked at Chris and said “yeah, I see. Um…let me just finish my drink then.”
After we left, the group decided food was in order. Some genius decided Mr. Pizza Man was the best option and so we actually ate there. As we passed the restaurant, the entire kitchen staff happened to turn and stare at us as we walked past their window. All glaring. Chris started to freak out because “Mr. Pizza Man hates us!” But a desire for chicken wings prevailed and Chris, Dan, Fong and I ordered while Ben and Elyse walked off to make out or something. Wild Horses came on again in Mr. Pizza Man, so Chris serenaded me again as I babysat him while Dan and Fong smoked outside.
I had to go to the bathroom badly and Mr. Pizza Man’s bathroom was honestly one of the worst I have ever seen. So, I made Dan take me home and Fong bring us our food when it was ready. The food was bad, bad, bad (as it always is from Mr. Pizza Man) and the blue cheese dressing for the chicken wings separated into some clear oily substance and chunks of cheese. Ok, I get that’s basically what the dressing is anyway, but it melted or something and was fucking disgusting. The worst part being, El Farolito was still open when we walked past.
So we’re back at Dan’s house and Fong brings us food. Then Ben and Elyse wander in. Finally Chris shows up after his final attempt to get blow failed (sorry, but I was joyful. I fucking hate that shit.) We’re all eating and drinking and smoking and chilling when Ben makes some ordinary comment. Dan gives him a smart ass response, to which Ben replies, yelling “FUCK YOU DAN, I’M SO FUCKING SICK OF YOUR FUCKING SHIT.” Calm, mellow, chill as fuck Ben. And then Ben leans back on the couch and immediately passes out. Probably my favorite moment all night. Chris had passes out on Dan’s kitchen floor by then (ewwwwwwww) so Dan and I told Elyse g’night and peaced out.
Pretty amusing all in all.
I met up with Dan at his place, where Elyse, The Famous Ben King and Crackhead Chris has already gathered. I don’t think I mentioned it, what with the stomach flu and all, but there was a little incident last weekend with Crackhead Chris threatening my life. Dan’s pretty sure he was kidding, but I’m a little wary nonetheless.
In any case, I met up with the group after they had already started drinking. As Dan finished writing up his story for the newspaper, Elyse, Ben and I shared a blunt. Crackhead Chris put on the Stones and he and Ben started doing their best Mick impressions up and down Dan’s room. They actually did a pretty good job. I asked Chris to put on Wild Horses for me and somewhere along the lines of him serenading me with it, he somehow got it into his mind that Wild Horses was my most favorite song of all time.
Dan and I finally organized the troops to move to the bar. Ben demanded we stop at the corner store and get a drink for the long walk to the bar. For reference purposes, it’s like 7 blocks. Short ones. Anyway, when we got to the liquor store, Elyse asked the liquor store dude if the piñatas hanging from the ceiling were for sale. He said no, but she could have one for free. The Famous Ben King borrowed a step ladder and pulled it down for her. The funniest part being we of course left it somewhere during the course of the evening.
So for some reason, I was feeling ignored by Dan, which did not make me very happy. We talked and worked it out (I love that we never actually have arguments or anything. It’s always just issue, discuss, resolve, over it.) Anyway, I was feeling ignored and was therefore acting like a brat. Chris observed some difference between Dan and I and said “well, guess you guys weren’t meant to be after all. Guess you’ll just have to break up.” So I turned to Dan and said “alright, we’re broken up. Bye.” And started to walk away. Usually when I pull that shit, Dan grabs my arm before I’m even able to take a step. This time he let me walk, when I was feeling ignored anyway. So after about 10 feet I turn and say to Dan, “You’re not even coming after me?” And Chris said “Sweetheart, you know if you break up with Dan, you’re breaking up with the whole group of us. And I just don’t think you could tangle with this bunch. So get your ass back over here.” And that was funny. Not so much funny ha ha, but funny like that’s very true and Chris may very well kill me some day.
We headed over to Mission Bar, which was packed and sucked. I’ve been to Mission Bar four times now. Two of them were packed and horrible, two of them were deserted and wonderful. I’m drawn on the Mission Bar, but I tend to dislike it. I have no idea why Dan loves it so much. Anyway, after Fong had met up with us we headed out of Mission Bar to check out Benders. Around this time, Crackhead Chris decided he absolutely, positively needed to do some blow. On the way to Benders, Chris and Elyse decided we should go to the international bar on 19th. I think Chris was just playing the odds game on his blow search. Dan and I talked them out of that place and proceeded to Benders – where their was a cover. We walked on to Theives, ordered beers and Chris promptly puked in the garbage can.
Dan, being the wonderful friend and boyfriend he is, walked off to play Wordster with Alex Fong while I babysat Chris. Chris was just in love with Paul, the bartender, for some reason. He kept yelling at him about the As, luckily they’re both fans. Other Chris stunts of the evening were him serenading me again with Wild Horses and grabbing some stranger’s beer, directly out of the guy’s hand, and trying to drink it. I don’t know why Chris doesn’t get his ass kicked more often. Dude was cool about it and I promptly reprimanded Chris with a “No! NO! NO, BAD CHRIS! You DO NOT steal stranger’s beers! Bad, BAD Chris!” Funnily enough, he just turned and stared at me with lost puppy dog eyes. Exactly like when I reprimand TJ. So Ben and Elyse had disappeared to make out or something and I pulled Dan aside to point out I didn’t know how long Paul was going to put up with Chris’ antics for. Dan argued for half a second, then looked at Chris and said “yeah, I see. Um…let me just finish my drink then.”
After we left, the group decided food was in order. Some genius decided Mr. Pizza Man was the best option and so we actually ate there. As we passed the restaurant, the entire kitchen staff happened to turn and stare at us as we walked past their window. All glaring. Chris started to freak out because “Mr. Pizza Man hates us!” But a desire for chicken wings prevailed and Chris, Dan, Fong and I ordered while Ben and Elyse walked off to make out or something. Wild Horses came on again in Mr. Pizza Man, so Chris serenaded me again as I babysat him while Dan and Fong smoked outside.
I had to go to the bathroom badly and Mr. Pizza Man’s bathroom was honestly one of the worst I have ever seen. So, I made Dan take me home and Fong bring us our food when it was ready. The food was bad, bad, bad (as it always is from Mr. Pizza Man) and the blue cheese dressing for the chicken wings separated into some clear oily substance and chunks of cheese. Ok, I get that’s basically what the dressing is anyway, but it melted or something and was fucking disgusting. The worst part being, El Farolito was still open when we walked past.
So we’re back at Dan’s house and Fong brings us food. Then Ben and Elyse wander in. Finally Chris shows up after his final attempt to get blow failed (sorry, but I was joyful. I fucking hate that shit.) We’re all eating and drinking and smoking and chilling when Ben makes some ordinary comment. Dan gives him a smart ass response, to which Ben replies, yelling “FUCK YOU DAN, I’M SO FUCKING SICK OF YOUR FUCKING SHIT.” Calm, mellow, chill as fuck Ben. And then Ben leans back on the couch and immediately passes out. Probably my favorite moment all night. Chris had passes out on Dan’s kitchen floor by then (ewwwwwwww) so Dan and I told Elyse g’night and peaced out.
Pretty amusing all in all.
posted by La Doña at 6:27 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home