Retarded Helpless Children
A very typical weekend was had by me: dinner and a movie with Mel on Friday, slept in and then Midnight Mass on Saturday, BBQ and hanging out with friends on Sunday. Anyway...on my way to the Mission on Sunday I was on the 24 and had one of those totally obvious realizations: for whatever reason, in America, natives always treat tourists like some sort of retarded chlld.
So, I'm on the 24 and a group of olderish (I'd say mid-40s to mid-60s) women were trying to get off the bus. Unlike most rookies, these tourists actually read the "step down to open doors sign," but for some reason they just kept dangling their foot over the steps like someone afraid to test the waters. There was this ghetto chick standing by the door who finally took matters into her own hands, stepped down and said to them "see, you step down. STEP DOWN [said very slowly and loudly]. Then the door opens. You get it? Step down and the door opens, it's like magic." Now, I had heard the tourists talking to each other. They spoke English, were clearly American and, while maybe not brilliant, they didn't come across as retarded children either. Yet, when the ghetto chick was explaining the "magic" of the muni back door system, the tourists actually "oooohed" and "aaaahed."
Granted, in the end the tourists sort of deserved the way they were treated, but it just makes me think about other times when I've seen this happen. And I used to work at Powell and Market - I knows me some tourists. Maybe there is something about traveling to another place that makes one completely fucking retarded and helpless. Maybe there is something about having someone in your area who is clearly not familiar that makes us assume they are retarded and helpless. Whatever, it's an interesting phenomenon nonetheless.
On another tourist note, time after time after time I'm downtown and I'll see a group of people who are clearly tourists and they will just be standing on the street. Usually I'm a little far away (but you can't help notice the human rocks blocking the flow of the human stream down the sidewalk) and plenty of people have passed them. Yet, time after time, they choose me to ask for directions or help or whatever. What the fuck? Why me? I guess I look "normal" to midwesterners or something. Which is pretty funny, when you think about it. Considering I hate the midwest so much.
So, I'm on the 24 and a group of olderish (I'd say mid-40s to mid-60s) women were trying to get off the bus. Unlike most rookies, these tourists actually read the "step down to open doors sign," but for some reason they just kept dangling their foot over the steps like someone afraid to test the waters. There was this ghetto chick standing by the door who finally took matters into her own hands, stepped down and said to them "see, you step down. STEP DOWN [said very slowly and loudly]. Then the door opens. You get it? Step down and the door opens, it's like magic." Now, I had heard the tourists talking to each other. They spoke English, were clearly American and, while maybe not brilliant, they didn't come across as retarded children either. Yet, when the ghetto chick was explaining the "magic" of the muni back door system, the tourists actually "oooohed" and "aaaahed."
Granted, in the end the tourists sort of deserved the way they were treated, but it just makes me think about other times when I've seen this happen. And I used to work at Powell and Market - I knows me some tourists. Maybe there is something about traveling to another place that makes one completely fucking retarded and helpless. Maybe there is something about having someone in your area who is clearly not familiar that makes us assume they are retarded and helpless. Whatever, it's an interesting phenomenon nonetheless.
On another tourist note, time after time after time I'm downtown and I'll see a group of people who are clearly tourists and they will just be standing on the street. Usually I'm a little far away (but you can't help notice the human rocks blocking the flow of the human stream down the sidewalk) and plenty of people have passed them. Yet, time after time, they choose me to ask for directions or help or whatever. What the fuck? Why me? I guess I look "normal" to midwesterners or something. Which is pretty funny, when you think about it. Considering I hate the midwest so much.
posted by La Doña at 3:56 PM
3 Comments:
Since you brought up the subject, tourist ARE the retarded children. I was taking care of shit around town after a long bender and I was in poor form. I step off Muni and proceed to puke right there on the corner of Haight and Divisidero. The moment I stop barfing this tourist who clearly wandered too far away from Upper Haight asks me for directions. WTF! Couldn't he tell I was a little busy? He wanted to know how to get downtown so I grunted and pointed. I guess if I wasn't there he would have asked the vomiting homeless dude.
You have to remember that not everyone in Chicago totally sucks. Yes, in general I agree with your midwest views, but I think that you do have to recognize that some of us have some redeaming characteristics. Or are at least tolerated.
it is true that when one is in a new place, on new public transportation, they are like retarded children. hell, whenever i leave the city, or drive somewhere, it's back to square one. ever see a tourist attempt to navigate the NYC subway system? utter halirium. then they get the most confusing directions from 3 different freindly NYers and end up in East New York. haha! fuckin tourists.
and the midwest is not that bad. there are much worse places, like anywhere on the Gulf Coast. BRING ON THE HURRICANES!!!!
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