So I got off the phone...

And I scream "FUCK YOU!"

TJ looks surprised, to say the least.

"FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!!!!!!"

TJ continues to look at me, slightly scared. Then she gets up and starts nervously chewing on her bone. I guess we're both on edge.

I know. I know...you don't need to tell me. If this is how the typical phone call with my boyfriend goes...it's time to break up. Like I said, I know. I just don't know how.

"FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!!!!!!"

He pisses me off. He pisses me off to no end. No, this isn't some hot, Italian love affair. He's a mick and I'm a mutt. This is just the end of love. It's not even love gone wrong.

I love him to death. I do. I really do. Which is why I only want the best for him. So I give him the best advice I can. But he doesn't want to "be told how to live." I'm not telling him how to live. I'm trying to tell him what life is like. I know I'm not older. But maybe I am wiser. At the very least I've been out there and I've lived and I've learned a thing or two. Maybe I can tell him something about it. Maybe I can help him learn a lesson or two the easy way.

I guess the hard thing for me is learning that he doesn't want to live his life that way. He wants to live life his own way with his own rules in his own time.

Well, sure. I know what that's like. I used to be like that. I never wanted to hear what my older sisters knew. I wanted to live my own life for myself. And then I turned, like, 16 and got over myself. Life aint like that, sweetie. Don't just ask me. Ask anyone who's been there. If you've got an easy out - you take it. 'Cause life is hard enough without trying to live it the hard way.

I'm not saying he's 16. I'm just saying, you know, get over yourself. It's all well and good to live your life, but if someone has something valuable to say...why not listen? I just don't understand.

Well, fuck you. I love you, I do. I love love love you. You're my first love and you'll always be a very, very special love. But it just can't be like this anymore.

But I can't live like this anymore. So fuck you. Fuck you for making me fall in love. And most importantly - fuck you for pushing me away.

Love, always. I promise.