Time Keeps On Slippin, Slippin, Slippin...Into the Future...
Sorry - just kidding. I'm clearly high right now. It's probably because I am in the aforementioned altered state, but I just can't get over how fast time is slipping away from me right now...and also thinking about my relationship with time in general.
On one hand, I feel like time is flying by me. This week has been insanely long and stressful for me. All the same, I just realized it's Wednesday night and I only have two work days left. Long as they were, the first couple days of this week also managed to woosh by. Not to mention, it's already midway through August (Back to School! Shoutout to my GS peeps!) Every day slides into the next like nothing ever happened and then one day you look back and it's been a year...five years...a lifetime...since whatever happened...
My father's posthumous anniversary was August 4th. 9 years, thank you for asking. I forgot all about it until the 12th. Good? Bad? Meaningless? Regardless, I feel bad for forgetting. I also feel like it was just yesterday when my first and last thought every day was of my father and I wished for a part of the day when he wasn't part of my thoughts...and finally he isn't...
So time is flying by at a crazy rate, right? But then there's that other part of me, the part that feels like my life is stretching in front of me like an endless canvas. Blank. Needing to be filled. Exhausting. So there's this sense of the infinite nature of life and how time relates to that...yet also that of time rushing by.
As I keep saying these days, "you're blowing my mind, man."
Seriously, it's weird. How can I feel like I have so much life to fill up when at the same time I also feel like my life is passing me by in the blink of an eye? I'm not sure. All I can think is that I've been stifled by the colossal ennui of having to live out the rest of my, say, 75 or so years. I've found it oppressive and overwhelming and have been hiding out, trying to while away as much time as possible to just get it all over with. But for one thing, that's most likely making the time feel all the longer.
And for another, it's time I start taking advantage of the time and youth I have now while it's rushing by. Considering how fast the last couple of days, this year, since graduating college, since college, since my father's death, since my father was alive, since I was in high school, since I was a child... well, it just seems like maybe I should take advantage of every day I have because soon enough I'll be looking back on those days...years after they've long since passed.
But what do I know? I'm just high.
Signing off.
PS Have I used this posting title before? Anyone? Seems like something I'd use, right?
On one hand, I feel like time is flying by me. This week has been insanely long and stressful for me. All the same, I just realized it's Wednesday night and I only have two work days left. Long as they were, the first couple days of this week also managed to woosh by. Not to mention, it's already midway through August (Back to School! Shoutout to my GS peeps!) Every day slides into the next like nothing ever happened and then one day you look back and it's been a year...five years...a lifetime...since whatever happened...
My father's posthumous anniversary was August 4th. 9 years, thank you for asking. I forgot all about it until the 12th. Good? Bad? Meaningless? Regardless, I feel bad for forgetting. I also feel like it was just yesterday when my first and last thought every day was of my father and I wished for a part of the day when he wasn't part of my thoughts...and finally he isn't...
So time is flying by at a crazy rate, right? But then there's that other part of me, the part that feels like my life is stretching in front of me like an endless canvas. Blank. Needing to be filled. Exhausting. So there's this sense of the infinite nature of life and how time relates to that...yet also that of time rushing by.
As I keep saying these days, "you're blowing my mind, man."
Seriously, it's weird. How can I feel like I have so much life to fill up when at the same time I also feel like my life is passing me by in the blink of an eye? I'm not sure. All I can think is that I've been stifled by the colossal ennui of having to live out the rest of my, say, 75 or so years. I've found it oppressive and overwhelming and have been hiding out, trying to while away as much time as possible to just get it all over with. But for one thing, that's most likely making the time feel all the longer.
And for another, it's time I start taking advantage of the time and youth I have now while it's rushing by. Considering how fast the last couple of days, this year, since graduating college, since college, since my father's death, since my father was alive, since I was in high school, since I was a child... well, it just seems like maybe I should take advantage of every day I have because soon enough I'll be looking back on those days...years after they've long since passed.
But what do I know? I'm just high.
Signing off.
PS Have I used this posting title before? Anyone? Seems like something I'd use, right?
posted by La Doña at 10:01 PM
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